On these dark days.......

I think that I have done it for most of my life ~ plastered a smile on my face ~ always laughing and happy ~ to the outside world at least. Most of the time ~ that is me ~ Happy!
BUT ~ I am only human and I feel the stress and strain of life ~ of the day to day ~ of the past, the present and what the future may (or may not)hold.

There was a time once, when I was younger ~ when my dreams were full of handsome princes ~ whisking me away on white horses (you get the picture!??)

I sometimes wish for those innocent days of childhood back again .......I sit and watch my sweet daughter ~ totally untouched by the world ~ playing her little games ~ engrossed in her make believe ~ no cares, no worries ~ just as I want it to be ~ it scares the hell out of me that she is yet to grow up ~ yet to be set free in this wonderful ~ yet scarey as heck world!

My life is like this sometimes ~ I wander along quite happily ~ living the same old 'same old' ~ day in day out of the SAME!! AND ~ please don't get me wrong ~ I am fully aware that I am lucky ~ I have my children ~ we are comfortable, safe and most of the time life is good ~ the same......but good.

Then there are times ~ when I hit a bump in the road ~ like now.
I have no idea where I am going,
No idea what I am going to do ~ with my life,
No idea what tomorrow will bring ~ and so many dreams, hopes and living still
left to do.

I have given up on princes and white horses ~ given up on the fairy tales that my Mother read me every night when I was younger ~ they are obviously not for me ~ not for this life anyway.....
These dark days don't come along all that often ~ but when they do ~ the seem to totally swallow me up ~ I feel like I am slowly being dragged into a huge black hole ~ I don't know why they happen ~ but they do ~ I also know that they pass ~ the light flicks back on and life is bright and breezy again!

I know that this is just a glitch ~ a small jolt in life ~.......but as always ~ I get up in the morning and plaster on that smile..............

So, on I go, on we all go ~ into the unknown.........I may not know where I am going ~ or what is ahead of me ~ but I do know that life is a journey ~ and sometimes it is like standing at the edge of a cliff........and all you can do is close your eyes.....and jump ~ and pray for a soft landing! XX