Familyxxx

We always were a close family ~ my Father was a soldier ~ so we tended to move around alot ~ sometimes every 6 months or so. This made the 4 of us close ~ my Mum, My dad, my Sister and me!

We were the constant in each others lives ~ when everything else changed, as it so often did ~ we stayed the same, were there for each other ~ we were family.
I have so many happy childhood memories ~ infact my childhood was so happy that I do not recall a single bad memory ~ I think that the worst thing that I can remember happening was my Grandmas dog (whiskey) having to be put to sleep.

I was always closest to my Dad ~ a real daddys girl ~ I obviously loved my Mum ~ but my Dad was my hero and I was his special girl ~ I could do no wrong ~ and where my sister was a rebel, got in trouble (and actually had a life ha ha !!) ~ I was the 'good girl' who followed the rules and never got into any trouble.

Then my Dad died ~ the devastation that we all felt ~ the remaining 3 ~ was totally soul destroying.

We pulled together ~ just us 3 ~ even though we lived miles apart ~ we were still family ~ still there for each other ~ still close.

Over the years that have slipped on by ~ all 15 of them ~ the balance has shifted and although my sister only lives an hour away from my Mum ~ they hardly see each other.

I feel like I am trapped in the middle of someone elses story ~ my Mum and sister hardly speak at the moment ~ I hate that it is like that ~ I don't know what to do ~ I love my Mum and I love my Sister ~ they both mean the whole world to me ~ I have tried to put it right ~ tried to sort it out ~ but I can only do so much ~ they have to do the rest between them.

I know that a life lived saying 'what if?' is a life wasted ~ I know that nothing can change the past ~ change what has been and gone ~ But I wish so much that my Dad was still here ~

It feels like the whole world shifted when my dad died ~ took on another course ~ and I hate that my once close and happy little family of 4 has ended up where we are today.

I hope so much that we 3 that remain ~ can somehow return to where we once were xxx