COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS!

I have now added my Countdown to Christmas counter at the very bottom of my blog...........128 days and counting ~ YIPPEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

(I wonder how many shopping days that leaves.......better just go and work it out!!) XXX

Shower like a woman......................................

How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohican
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.


I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!!

WE ARE HOME !!

I love going away ~ I have had a wonderful time with my Mum and Step Dad and I was very sad to leave ~ as were the children!! But we are home now and it is actually nice to be back ~ there is just something nice about being back home with all your own things and I am looking forward to my own bed tonight!! All the motorways were running really smoothly and there were no exploding roof boxes (and I didn't see any pants this time either ha ha !!)

There was a huge pile of mail waiting when I got back ~ we had trouble getting in the front door (ha ha !!) ~ in amongst the pile was a little package ~ with a DVD in it ~ It is called 'The Other Boleyn Girl' and is one that I have wanted to see for a long while ~ I just love everything about that part of history ~ Henry VIII and all that!!! While I was away my sister gave me a 60 day free membership to LOVEFILM.COM ~ which is basically an online DVD rental shop!! Only there are no late fees and you can keep the DVD for as long as you like (I like the no late fee bit ~ as I am useless at returning things tee hee!!). When you return one DVD they send you another one from your wish list!! I think I am going to like this ~ my sister is a sweetie ha ha !! She loves it ~ as she likes getting the envelope and not knowing which DVD it is (we are both still kids at heart !!).

I have a new award on my side bar ~ which is from the lovely Donna over at Made in heaven and is called The Wylde Woman Award ~ it is awarded to men and women who brighten your day, teach you new things and live their lives fully with genrosity and joy!! Thank you very much Donna ~ my blog will wear it with pride and I will be sure to pass it on soon!!

Finally ~ before I fall into bed (my nice comfy big bed!!) ~ I just wanted to share these words with you ~ that were posted on Donnas blog (hope you don't mind me borrowing it Donna!!)

Make new friends ~

But keep the old ~

One is Silver ~ The other Gold!!

Night Night ~

Home we go again!!

Off we go again ~ back home!!

We have had a really wonderful week ~ with a few warm and sunny days!!

I will be sad to leave ~ sad to say goodbye ~ but we will be back again soon!!

We are away again on Friday ~ as it is a Bank Holiday Weekend here in the UK next weekend ~ so I am going to make the most of having another extra day off work!!

Ahead is a very long drive ~ hopefully it will be quiet ~ with it being a sunday ~ and hopefully we will not encounter any flying vanity cases this time (ha ha !!).

Just off to pack the car!

See you when we are back home again!! XXX

If my diet demon had it's own way........

Then this is what I would have eaten today!!!!!

UNFORTUNATELY ~ there is a diet angel sitting on the other shoulder ~ so this was the reality.....

After 14 weeks (I think) and almost 3 and a bit stone lost ~ this is getting SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard ~ oh well ~ never mind ~ only another 3 stone to go ~ ho hum!!!!